Ace (n.)
When partner ducks to declarer's king, queen, jack etc and never actually wins a trick.
Ace Asking (v.)
Enquiry at the end of the play.
e.g. "Did you have the A♥ partner?"
Adjusted Score (n.)
Your score if partner had done everything right for the session.
Advancer (adj.)
The person who is responsible for overcaller’s mistakes.
Advance Cuebid (n.)
A cuebid made before a suit had been agreed upon, with the intention of causing complete confusion for both partner and opponents.
Agree (v.)
To offer consent as to what strain you wish to play a hand in... Although there is usually very little agreeing after the hand is over.
Alcatraz Coup (v.)
A technique where you lead a card to finesse from dummy, and revoke from hand, eventually allowing you to know the exactly location of a missing honor, and finesse it respectively. For a list of punishments, see: Execution Devices
Alert (v.)
1. A brilliant stratagem that awakens the forgetful partner and sets the opponents on a path to confusion, all in one blow.
2. Partner's state of mind before and after (but not during) game time.
Announcement (n.)
1. The term used for the message over the loudspeaker at a tournament: "I have an idiot partner, who wants him?"
2. A process similar to alerting, except you describe your own hand, i.e. "I have AJxx Jxx Jxx AKx"
Appeal (v.)
The heap of Satsuma rind left under your opponent's chair after he needed a fructose boost on listening to the director reel off 6 laws from the Directors Handbook when he called him to the table following your partner's decision to bid over your 3 minute hesitation.
Appeals Committee (n.)
A group of experts who have gathered to punish you.
Artificial (adj.)
Systems played by Non-Americans
Attitude (n.)
The commonly used signalling style where partner grimaces if you make a bad lead, and smiles if you make a good one.
ATB (abbr.)
A headline used by posters on BBF who enjoy humiliating their partners in front of a larger group of people.
Auction (n.)
A ceremony in which four people go around the table telling each other how much they are willing to pay for the privilege of misdeclaring (see Declarer Play) the hand.
Average (n.)
The score awarded for an unplayed board, or the score you wish you were awarded for a played board.
Avoidance Play (n.)
Your favorite excuses to turn down invitations from players that invariably carve your myhand-record.
Examples:
A. Sorry, I'm just about to leave (where after you quickly log off and sign back on as invisible)
B. Ah, darn! NN just asked me to play (you quickly set up play with NN or pretend to wait around for him to log on)
C. Sorry, Jonny, I just accidentally cut off my head and have to go look for it. Be right back.
Showing posts with label Dictionary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dictionary. Show all posts
Sunday, June 14, 2009
B
Backwards Finesse
The finesse of the ten that your partner unnecessarily took and the only reason you can think he did so was because he is retarded.
Backwash Squeeze (n.)
The unfortunate drenching of the playing-room carpet when Jim, the oldest player in the club, reaches over to play a card from dummy and applies excessive pressure to his colostomy bag.
Balance (v.)
The act of keeping an auction alive allowing the opponents to improve their score.
BAM (n.)
The finishing touch on an extravagant misdefense.
Barometer (n.)
The gauge, positioned on the left-side of a team match in BBO, that accurately measures the level of depression of your team members.
Bart (n.)
A convention concocted to confuse friend and foe alike. Named after The Simpsons character.
Bath Coup (n.)
The after-effect of shouting 'Eureka!' when lying in the Jacuzzi and realizing you could have made the first 3NT you played in the afternoon session by ducking the K♥ lead whilst holding AJxx♥
BBO Expert (n.)
A self proclaimed good player who often underruffs for no reason, or passes a forcing bid.
Bennett Trial (n.)
A serious avoidance play.
Bergen Raise (n.)
A bidding tool named after someone who quit bridge... Perhaps from having to use his convention.
Bidding Box (n.)
An innovative contraption that allows its user to do with an inflection of their wrist what they used to be able to do with the inflection of their voice.
Bid Out of Turn (n.)
A technique used to bar partner from the auction before making a bid with an extremely weak hand.
Black-Criss-Cross-Coup (n.)
A coup that can only be used when there are 4 drunk players playing. The process of ruffing spades with hearts in dummy, and clubs with diamonds in hand.
Blame (v.)
1. An item more abundant than water.
2. A rough guide to the skill level of random opponents
i.e. A. Self Blame (Novice): “Sorry partner, I should have bid 1♥”
B. Opponent Blame (Intermediate): “Well, he bid, I thought he had the Queen”
C. Partner Blame (Expert): “If you had just raised me, I could have cuebid to slam!”
Blank (adj.)
The look on your partner's face when you explain to the palooka that the only way you could have set the contract was if he let the queen run round to your stiff king.
Blitz (n.)
To annihilate.
Blocked (adj.)
The state you believe your partner's mind is in after he fails to unblock your long suit twice in a row.
Board (n.)
The ennui one feels after playing a hand of bridge with someone who has as much intelligence as a lobotomised tadpole.
Bottom (n.)
That part of your anatomy that gets kicked when you go for 500 and the opponents at the other 11 tables are allowed to make 420.
Break In Tempo (n.)
An excuse used by many players to intimidate opponents by calling the director when no obvious infraction occurred.
Break the Squeeze (v.)
What to do when your girlfriend's double-dummy analysis becomes better than your single dummy analysis.
Bridge (n.)
A way to miscommunicate without a river running under it.
BridgeMate (n.)
The unfriendly electronic contraption that North has to wrestle with for the duration of a bridge session.
Bridge Base Forums (n.)
An online domain where thousands of people waste time posting things that have already happened to prove their partner wrong, and themselves right.
Broken Sequence (n.)
What happens once you fail to relay in the auction 1C-1D-1H-1S.
Brown Sticker (adj.)
A phrase used to describe the adhesive quality of one's underwear after one reaches a small slam in a suit you had not bid until the 6 level, when you suddenly realize that you have to play it.
Bust (adj.)
A very weak hand a woman keeps close to her very large chest.
Bye (interjection)
Parting remark of your partner when you score 28.7% in the No Fear Bridge Tourney
The finesse of the ten that your partner unnecessarily took and the only reason you can think he did so was because he is retarded.
Backwash Squeeze (n.)
The unfortunate drenching of the playing-room carpet when Jim, the oldest player in the club, reaches over to play a card from dummy and applies excessive pressure to his colostomy bag.
Balance (v.)
The act of keeping an auction alive allowing the opponents to improve their score.
BAM (n.)
The finishing touch on an extravagant misdefense.
Barometer (n.)
The gauge, positioned on the left-side of a team match in BBO, that accurately measures the level of depression of your team members.
Bart (n.)
A convention concocted to confuse friend and foe alike. Named after The Simpsons character.
Bath Coup (n.)
The after-effect of shouting 'Eureka!' when lying in the Jacuzzi and realizing you could have made the first 3NT you played in the afternoon session by ducking the K♥ lead whilst holding AJxx♥
BBO Expert (n.)
A self proclaimed good player who often underruffs for no reason, or passes a forcing bid.
Bennett Trial (n.)
A serious avoidance play.
Bergen Raise (n.)
A bidding tool named after someone who quit bridge... Perhaps from having to use his convention.
Bidding Box (n.)
An innovative contraption that allows its user to do with an inflection of their wrist what they used to be able to do with the inflection of their voice.
Bid Out of Turn (n.)
A technique used to bar partner from the auction before making a bid with an extremely weak hand.
Black-Criss-Cross-Coup (n.)
A coup that can only be used when there are 4 drunk players playing. The process of ruffing spades with hearts in dummy, and clubs with diamonds in hand.
Blame (v.)
1. An item more abundant than water.
2. A rough guide to the skill level of random opponents
i.e. A. Self Blame (Novice): “Sorry partner, I should have bid 1♥”
B. Opponent Blame (Intermediate): “Well, he bid, I thought he had the Queen”
C. Partner Blame (Expert): “If you had just raised me, I could have cuebid to slam!”
Blank (adj.)
The look on your partner's face when you explain to the palooka that the only way you could have set the contract was if he let the queen run round to your stiff king.
Blitz (n.)
To annihilate.
Blocked (adj.)
The state you believe your partner's mind is in after he fails to unblock your long suit twice in a row.
Board (n.)
The ennui one feels after playing a hand of bridge with someone who has as much intelligence as a lobotomised tadpole.
Bottom (n.)
That part of your anatomy that gets kicked when you go for 500 and the opponents at the other 11 tables are allowed to make 420.
Break In Tempo (n.)
An excuse used by many players to intimidate opponents by calling the director when no obvious infraction occurred.
Break the Squeeze (v.)
What to do when your girlfriend's double-dummy analysis becomes better than your single dummy analysis.
Bridge (n.)
A way to miscommunicate without a river running under it.
BridgeMate (n.)
The unfriendly electronic contraption that North has to wrestle with for the duration of a bridge session.
Bridge Base Forums (n.)
An online domain where thousands of people waste time posting things that have already happened to prove their partner wrong, and themselves right.
Broken Sequence (n.)
What happens once you fail to relay in the auction 1C-1D-1H-1S.
Brown Sticker (adj.)
A phrase used to describe the adhesive quality of one's underwear after one reaches a small slam in a suit you had not bid until the 6 level, when you suddenly realize that you have to play it.
Bust (adj.)
A very weak hand a woman keeps close to her very large chest.
Bye (interjection)
Parting remark of your partner when you score 28.7% in the No Fear Bridge Tourney
C
Caddy (n.)
Usually one of the very few people at a bridge tournament without at least 3 several health issues.
Cappelletti (n.)
See: Hamilton
Captain (n.)
The person who recieves all the blame in auctions that have gone wrong.
Card Reading (n.)
A skill used when unable to peek into the opponent's hands.
Cash (n.)
What you pay an opponent not to take the setting trick
Carve (v.)
Most Irish and Welsh juniors use this term to describe their play of a hand... Which is usually quite awful.
Chair (n.)
Something typically thrown across the table.
Cheater (n.)
Usually a brilliant player whose skills are beyond comprehension for the average BBO expert.
Chicago (n.)
A city known for their pizza, not their form of scoring.
Claim (n.)
You do this when you have all the remaining tricks but still want to confuse the opponents.
Club (n.)
One of four suits. Clubs are the lowest ranking of all the suits, and also can be a term referring to what you will do to partner after the game.
Coffeehousing (n.)
An illegal question or hesitation intended to mislead the opponents, although it usually winds up misleading partner.
Combination Play (v.)
A line partner takes that, with a combination of stupidity and ill-judgment, invariably results in him going off.
Comic Notrump (n.)
An overcall of 1NT that causes your partner to lose his sense of humor once your hand hits the table.
Commentators Block (n.)
The place where kibitzers wish a Vugraph Commentator would put his/her head, after continuously incorrectly analyzing hands.
Communication (n.)
There is usually a lack of this between two hands, either in the bidding or the play.
Convention Card (n.)
1. A list of all the special agreements you will forget in the following session.
2. A menu of all of the conventions, signals and methods you hope to one day be able to understand.
Conservative (adj.)
A term referring to a bidding style that often results in +260.
Correct (v.)
A term referring to your position in every argument. For partner's position, see: Incorrect
Count Signal (n.)
An agreement that when you kick partner under the table, it's a reminder to recount trumps since LHO just flashed you one.
Coup En Passant (n.)
One of those techniques you strive to execute when playing with a woman who you are trying to get into bed with so you can discuss your approach to the play of the hand in the bar afterwards after you have overheard her telling her best friend on her mobile during the interval that she will only date someone who can speak French with a sexy accent.
Crack (v.)
What you intend to do to partner's head after he put you in a slam off 4 keycards.
CRASH (v.)
A verb describing your association with the sofa later that evening when, whilst playing with your wife, you overcall an opponents non-making NT to a non-making part-score your way.
Crawling Pre-Empt (n.)
A term referring to bidding 2C, then 3C, 4C, 5C, 6C, and 7C as the opponents slowly exchange information in-between.
Crossruff (v.)
A term referring to when the defenders score all their trumps separately after doubling you.
Cutthroat Bridge (n.)
The form of the game being played after playing more than 1 session with your spouse.
Usually one of the very few people at a bridge tournament without at least 3 several health issues.
Cappelletti (n.)
See: Hamilton
Captain (n.)
The person who recieves all the blame in auctions that have gone wrong.
Card Reading (n.)
A skill used when unable to peek into the opponent's hands.
Cash (n.)
What you pay an opponent not to take the setting trick
Carve (v.)
Most Irish and Welsh juniors use this term to describe their play of a hand... Which is usually quite awful.
Chair (n.)
Something typically thrown across the table.
Cheater (n.)
Usually a brilliant player whose skills are beyond comprehension for the average BBO expert.
Chicago (n.)
A city known for their pizza, not their form of scoring.
Claim (n.)
You do this when you have all the remaining tricks but still want to confuse the opponents.
Club (n.)
One of four suits. Clubs are the lowest ranking of all the suits, and also can be a term referring to what you will do to partner after the game.
Coffeehousing (n.)
An illegal question or hesitation intended to mislead the opponents, although it usually winds up misleading partner.
Combination Play (v.)
A line partner takes that, with a combination of stupidity and ill-judgment, invariably results in him going off.
Comic Notrump (n.)
An overcall of 1NT that causes your partner to lose his sense of humor once your hand hits the table.
Commentators Block (n.)
The place where kibitzers wish a Vugraph Commentator would put his/her head, after continuously incorrectly analyzing hands.
Communication (n.)
There is usually a lack of this between two hands, either in the bidding or the play.
Convention Card (n.)
1. A list of all the special agreements you will forget in the following session.
2. A menu of all of the conventions, signals and methods you hope to one day be able to understand.
Conservative (adj.)
A term referring to a bidding style that often results in +260.
Correct (v.)
A term referring to your position in every argument. For partner's position, see: Incorrect
Count Signal (n.)
An agreement that when you kick partner under the table, it's a reminder to recount trumps since LHO just flashed you one.
Coup En Passant (n.)
One of those techniques you strive to execute when playing with a woman who you are trying to get into bed with so you can discuss your approach to the play of the hand in the bar afterwards after you have overheard her telling her best friend on her mobile during the interval that she will only date someone who can speak French with a sexy accent.
Crack (v.)
What you intend to do to partner's head after he put you in a slam off 4 keycards.
CRASH (v.)
A verb describing your association with the sofa later that evening when, whilst playing with your wife, you overcall an opponents non-making NT to a non-making part-score your way.
Crawling Pre-Empt (n.)
A term referring to bidding 2C, then 3C, 4C, 5C, 6C, and 7C as the opponents slowly exchange information in-between.
Crossruff (v.)
A term referring to when the defenders score all their trumps separately after doubling you.
Cutthroat Bridge (n.)
The form of the game being played after playing more than 1 session with your spouse.
D
Dandruff (n.)
Inexplicable white spots that appear on the beige after your Q of clubs is ruffed by a male opponent with a liberal trowelling of lip-gloss and a pattern on his colorful shirt reminiscent of your grandmother's apron.
Dead (adj.)
A term used to describe many local players.
Declarer Play (n.)
A black art that one must master alone. it has been likened by some to underwear, in that it's nobody's business but your own to learn it. One's declarer play often improves with the consumption of controlled substances or when coupled with the act of peeking.
Denial Cue-Bid (n.)
"It was natural!!!"
Deschapelles Coup (n.)
The excuse one gives for allowing opponents to make 13 tricks when you hold an offside king.
Diamond (n.)
The "better" minor.
Director (n.)
The person in charge of making sure that those that contribute the most to the club's purse get the most equal treatment.
Discovery Play (n.)
A play intended to obtain information about the location of outstanding cards that your partner always seems to discover in the bar after the match.
Discussion (v.)
Vocalised partnership interaction. If made after a board has been played it is normally heated, if made before a board has been played it is normally cool.
Distrubutional Points (n.)
1. The term you use to explain to the director how you opened your 4 count with 5♥ on the 1 level.
2. A recently rediscovered system of arithmetic originally used by Mayan real estate accountants and readopted by certain types of bridge players.
Although intensely complicated to master (Teochitataul The Elder from Acapulco was the most successful exponent in his day) once understood it is exceptionally accurate.
Adapted for bridge the process is as follows:
1) Add together the length of your longest suits.
2) To this add a weighted sum of your high card points in your longer suits
3) Subtract mercy points for honors in short suits
4) Subtract the number of times you thought during the session that you wish you never opened your bloody hand
Once you have finished the above arithmetic calculation it astonishingly always equals -800.
Divorce (v.)
What happens after you have played more than 4 sessions of bridge with your spouse.
DONT (abbr.)
A convention that comes with instructions for use in it's acronym.
DOPI (abbr.)
An acronym that transforms into an adjective that your partner calls you when you pass an opponents bid with an Ace.
Double (n./v.)
An action with many uses, most result in large negative scores however.
Double Dummy (n.)
Portmanteau word to describe your opponents when they each hold an ace and fail to set your 6NT
Double-Fit (n.)
The epileptic reaction of both your opponents when your partners rape alarm suddenly and mysteriously goes off.
Double-Squeeze (n.)
What you imagine yourself doing to two prominent organs staring you in the face after you discover your partner cancelled your last month's bridge game because she had to stay overnight in hospital for breast augmentation surgery.
Drury (n.)
A convention with its roots in a bygone age, when black tie was the dress code, cigarettes not frowned upon at the table and psychic controls were all the rage.
Dummy Play (adj.)
How your partner describes your declarer play to your team-mates in the post-mortem when you go to the toilet.
Dummy Reversal (v.)
The situation following a transfer sequence where partner gets to misplay the hand.
Duplicate (n.)
A format of bridge competition for pairs, where each table gets dealt the same cards, so as to reduce the level of envy and increase empathy and understanding among the players.
Inexplicable white spots that appear on the beige after your Q of clubs is ruffed by a male opponent with a liberal trowelling of lip-gloss and a pattern on his colorful shirt reminiscent of your grandmother's apron.
Dead (adj.)
A term used to describe many local players.
Declarer Play (n.)
A black art that one must master alone. it has been likened by some to underwear, in that it's nobody's business but your own to learn it. One's declarer play often improves with the consumption of controlled substances or when coupled with the act of peeking.
Denial Cue-Bid (n.)
"It was natural!!!"
Deschapelles Coup (n.)
The excuse one gives for allowing opponents to make 13 tricks when you hold an offside king.
Diamond (n.)
The "better" minor.
Director (n.)
The person in charge of making sure that those that contribute the most to the club's purse get the most equal treatment.
Discovery Play (n.)
A play intended to obtain information about the location of outstanding cards that your partner always seems to discover in the bar after the match.
Discussion (v.)
Vocalised partnership interaction. If made after a board has been played it is normally heated, if made before a board has been played it is normally cool.
Distrubutional Points (n.)
1. The term you use to explain to the director how you opened your 4 count with 5♥ on the 1 level.
2. A recently rediscovered system of arithmetic originally used by Mayan real estate accountants and readopted by certain types of bridge players.
Although intensely complicated to master (Teochitataul The Elder from Acapulco was the most successful exponent in his day) once understood it is exceptionally accurate.
Adapted for bridge the process is as follows:
1) Add together the length of your longest suits.
2) To this add a weighted sum of your high card points in your longer suits
3) Subtract mercy points for honors in short suits
4) Subtract the number of times you thought during the session that you wish you never opened your bloody hand
Once you have finished the above arithmetic calculation it astonishingly always equals -800.
Divorce (v.)
What happens after you have played more than 4 sessions of bridge with your spouse.
DONT (abbr.)
A convention that comes with instructions for use in it's acronym.
DOPI (abbr.)
An acronym that transforms into an adjective that your partner calls you when you pass an opponents bid with an Ace.
Double (n./v.)
An action with many uses, most result in large negative scores however.
Double Dummy (n.)
Portmanteau word to describe your opponents when they each hold an ace and fail to set your 6NT
Double-Fit (n.)
The epileptic reaction of both your opponents when your partners rape alarm suddenly and mysteriously goes off.
Double-Squeeze (n.)
What you imagine yourself doing to two prominent organs staring you in the face after you discover your partner cancelled your last month's bridge game because she had to stay overnight in hospital for breast augmentation surgery.
Drury (n.)
A convention with its roots in a bygone age, when black tie was the dress code, cigarettes not frowned upon at the table and psychic controls were all the rage.
Dummy Play (adj.)
How your partner describes your declarer play to your team-mates in the post-mortem when you go to the toilet.
Dummy Reversal (v.)
The situation following a transfer sequence where partner gets to misplay the hand.
Duplicate (n.)
A format of bridge competition for pairs, where each table gets dealt the same cards, so as to reduce the level of envy and increase empathy and understanding among the players.
E
Eight Ever, Nine Never (n.)
The number of tricks one invariably makes when playing in a cold 3NT.
Elimination and Endplay (n.)
An advanced method in the game of bridge, whereby one rejects all prospective partners as unacceptable and then is forced to abandon the game due to lack of suitable people to play with.
Expert (n./adj.)
A Turkish bridge player who's been playing the game for more than half an hour.
Expert Analysis (n.)
See: Anal
The number of tricks one invariably makes when playing in a cold 3NT.
Elimination and Endplay (n.)
An advanced method in the game of bridge, whereby one rejects all prospective partners as unacceptable and then is forced to abandon the game due to lack of suitable people to play with.
Expert (n./adj.)
A Turkish bridge player who's been playing the game for more than half an hour.
Expert Analysis (n.)
See: Anal
F
False Claim (n.)
What you believe your pick-up partner has done after 3 hands of bridge and you look at his profile and he has put expert as his Skill Level.
Fast Arrival (v.)
The outcome of your morning love-making when play starts at 9:20 a.m.
Field (n./v.)
1. Size of a tournament.
2. Being aware that partner has psyched in the absence of a call that reveals the psyche.
3. Where you will dump your partners body after he continuously perpetrates 2.
Field Protection (n.)
This is a term often used to explain bad results in a matchpoint event, instead of actually accepting that going -1400 versus air is bad.
Fit (v.)
What your partner will do if you put him in a Mini-Moysian or worse.
Flannery (n.)
A brilliant invention that allows the missing of even more slams than usual. It is also known for the ability to wind up playing 2♦ in 2-2 fits.
Flat (adj.)
Antonym of Double Squeeze (see Double Squeeze)
Forcing Pass (n.)
A call, if also passed by the partner, usually forces partnership discord.
Fourth Best (n.)
The partner you draw in a high stakes rubber game.
Four Way Transfers (n.)
The bridge equivalent of a Merry-Go-Round.
Friends List (n.)
A list of people whom you enjoy stalking.
What you believe your pick-up partner has done after 3 hands of bridge and you look at his profile and he has put expert as his Skill Level.
Fast Arrival (v.)
The outcome of your morning love-making when play starts at 9:20 a.m.
Field (n./v.)
1. Size of a tournament.
2. Being aware that partner has psyched in the absence of a call that reveals the psyche.
3. Where you will dump your partners body after he continuously perpetrates 2.
Field Protection (n.)
This is a term often used to explain bad results in a matchpoint event, instead of actually accepting that going -1400 versus air is bad.
Fit (v.)
What your partner will do if you put him in a Mini-Moysian or worse.
Flannery (n.)
A brilliant invention that allows the missing of even more slams than usual. It is also known for the ability to wind up playing 2♦ in 2-2 fits.
Flat (adj.)
Antonym of Double Squeeze (see Double Squeeze)
Forcing Pass (n.)
A call, if also passed by the partner, usually forces partnership discord.
Fourth Best (n.)
The partner you draw in a high stakes rubber game.
Four Way Transfers (n.)
The bridge equivalent of a Merry-Go-Round.
Friends List (n.)
A list of people whom you enjoy stalking.
G
Gadget (n.)
A pet method devised in the hopes to have ones name associated with it.
Gambling 3NT (n.)
A bid made where there is a 100% probability of opponents playing in their only making 4-3 major suit game and partner being on lead with a void in your long minor.
Garbage Stayman (n.)
Where you want to throw your system when you end up playing in a 4-2 fit.
Geeber (n.)
A bid of 4♣ made over any NT bid, including gambling 3NT, compelling you to pass if you have opened a gambling 3NT over which partner bids 4♣ p/c doubled by RHO if you also play ROPI even if you’re running suit is ♦
http://www.godofthemachine.com/bridge/09-01-02.html
Useful when you frequently have outside aces despite your denial therof on the opening bid
Gerber (n.)
The most wonderful of all ace-asking conventions in contract bridge. Its knowledge and the frequency of its usage distinguishes the novice from the expert. Also, see: Geeber.
GIB (abbr.)
Double dummy analyser integrated into the BBO software which I will pay Fred Gitelman 200 BBO$ (payable 4 months hence) if he allowed me exclusive access to it as declarer and defender.
Grand Slam (n.)
The noise the front door of the bridge club makes when you pass your partners 7C bid. After you pick his cards off the floor as they fluttered there after the backdraft from his dramatic exit you realize his stiff A of clubs was a probe for 7NT or 7S.
Grosvenor Coup (n.)
A coup that only works against visiting experts who haven't seen you play before.
A pet method devised in the hopes to have ones name associated with it.
Gambling 3NT (n.)
A bid made where there is a 100% probability of opponents playing in their only making 4-3 major suit game and partner being on lead with a void in your long minor.
Garbage Stayman (n.)
Where you want to throw your system when you end up playing in a 4-2 fit.
Geeber (n.)
A bid of 4♣ made over any NT bid, including gambling 3NT, compelling you to pass if you have opened a gambling 3NT over which partner bids 4♣ p/c doubled by RHO if you also play ROPI even if you’re running suit is ♦
http://www.godofthemachine.com/bridge/09-01-02.html
Useful when you frequently have outside aces despite your denial therof on the opening bid
Gerber (n.)
The most wonderful of all ace-asking conventions in contract bridge. Its knowledge and the frequency of its usage distinguishes the novice from the expert. Also, see: Geeber.
GIB (abbr.)
Double dummy analyser integrated into the BBO software which I will pay Fred Gitelman 200 BBO$ (payable 4 months hence) if he allowed me exclusive access to it as declarer and defender.
Grand Slam (n.)
The noise the front door of the bridge club makes when you pass your partners 7C bid. After you pick his cards off the floor as they fluttered there after the backdraft from his dramatic exit you realize his stiff A of clubs was a probe for 7NT or 7S.
Grosvenor Coup (n.)
A coup that only works against visiting experts who haven't seen you play before.
H
Half Table (n.)
1. An extra pair at a duplicate game who forgot what game time was.
2. The fractional population of your table after the burrito you ate earlier that evening has digested itself in a way you found difficult to control
Hamilton (n.)
See: Cappelletti
Hand Evaluation Method (v.)
Excuse for a poor decision in the auction.
Hang (v.)
A prophylactic technique used to dissuade partner from balancing on future hands.
Head-to-Head (adj.)
How you wish your opponents would come into contact with each other after they bid a 18% game.
Hesitation (v.)
A period of time shorter than a huddle (see huddle) and always 25 times longer than the time it takes ones opponents to inform one that one has taken it.
Huddle (v.)
A period of time equal in length to 2 hesitations (SI Unit) ; the first hesitation being a mental equivalent to a dog-paddle as your thoughts scurry around to understand what partner's bid meant and the second a mental equivalent to a nose-dive as you try and conjure up a least lame as possible excuse to justify the first.
HUM (n.)
1. Highly Un-American Method
2. Highly Unethical Method
Husband (n.)
1. Noun that suddenly becomes prefixed with ex when a wife talks about the man she started to learn to play bridge with at the local library.
2. A male you should always play with - as long as he is someone else's.
1. An extra pair at a duplicate game who forgot what game time was.
2. The fractional population of your table after the burrito you ate earlier that evening has digested itself in a way you found difficult to control
Hamilton (n.)
See: Cappelletti
Hand Evaluation Method (v.)
Excuse for a poor decision in the auction.
Hang (v.)
A prophylactic technique used to dissuade partner from balancing on future hands.
Head-to-Head (adj.)
How you wish your opponents would come into contact with each other after they bid a 18% game.
Hesitation (v.)
A period of time shorter than a huddle (see huddle) and always 25 times longer than the time it takes ones opponents to inform one that one has taken it.
Huddle (v.)
A period of time equal in length to 2 hesitations (SI Unit) ; the first hesitation being a mental equivalent to a dog-paddle as your thoughts scurry around to understand what partner's bid meant and the second a mental equivalent to a nose-dive as you try and conjure up a least lame as possible excuse to justify the first.
HUM (n.)
1. Highly Un-American Method
2. Highly Unethical Method
Husband (n.)
1. Noun that suddenly becomes prefixed with ex when a wife talks about the man she started to learn to play bridge with at the local library.
2. A male you should always play with - as long as he is someone else's.
I
Idiot (adj.)
See: BBO Expert
Insufficient Bid (n.)
Phrase adequately describing partners raise to the 2 level with a 15 count and trump support.
Insult (v.)
The 50 or so expletives thrown at you by your partner when you let an opponent's doubled contract through.
Inverted Minor (adj.)
What is generally found on the floor in the Caddy's Room at an NABC during the late hours when there was no room at the single hotel room that 20 of them booked to save money. Not to be confused with a Convenient Minor.
Invitational Bid (v.)
A method of removing the blame from yourself and instead placing it on your partner.
Irrevocability (adj.)
The feeling of despair one feels when one has revoked in every suit on the first 4 tricks.
Isolating the Menace (v.)
The act of ensuring that the weakest player in the team sits out until the round where a win is guaranteed.
See: BBO Expert
Insufficient Bid (n.)
Phrase adequately describing partners raise to the 2 level with a 15 count and trump support.
Insult (v.)
The 50 or so expletives thrown at you by your partner when you let an opponent's doubled contract through.
Inverted Minor (adj.)
What is generally found on the floor in the Caddy's Room at an NABC during the late hours when there was no room at the single hotel room that 20 of them booked to save money. Not to be confused with a Convenient Minor.
Invitational Bid (v.)
A method of removing the blame from yourself and instead placing it on your partner.
Irrevocability (adj.)
The feeling of despair one feels when one has revoked in every suit on the first 4 tricks.
Isolating the Menace (v.)
The act of ensuring that the weakest player in the team sits out until the round where a win is guaranteed.
J
Jack (n.)
See: Knave
Jacoby Transfer (n.)
Method of getting partner to go down in a contract you could have made.
Junior (n.)
1. A player who still has not mastered arithmetic, and, despite a young age, has developed an unusually sharp tongue.
2. Any player who can still see across the table without corrective lenses and whose hair is not white.
See: Knave
Jacoby Transfer (n.)
Method of getting partner to go down in a contract you could have made.
Junior (n.)
1. A player who still has not mastered arithmetic, and, despite a young age, has developed an unusually sharp tongue.
2. Any player who can still see across the table without corrective lenses and whose hair is not white.
K
Kamikaze Notrump
A Japanese Notrump treatment, which, when employed, causes your monthly IMP average to spiral downwards and evenually crash.
Kibitzer (n.)
An infallible bidder, declarer and defender who never participates in an auction and never plays a card.
Kickback (n.)
1. A way of further complicating the ace asking process to the point where it pays just to punt slams.
2. The response one gets from alerting (See: Alert) your partner to a new-fangled bid you just added to your system by extending your foot so that it brutishly comes into contact with her shin.
King (n.)
Declarer's sure trick when partner has the ace. (See: Ace)
Knave (n.)
Various hypotheses have been presented as to what this card is worth, but with no resolution. Many agree that the knave often gets depressed and sticks a sword through its head, unless paired with a neighboring spot.
A Japanese Notrump treatment, which, when employed, causes your monthly IMP average to spiral downwards and evenually crash.
Kibitzer (n.)
An infallible bidder, declarer and defender who never participates in an auction and never plays a card.
Kickback (n.)
1. A way of further complicating the ace asking process to the point where it pays just to punt slams.
2. The response one gets from alerting (See: Alert) your partner to a new-fangled bid you just added to your system by extending your foot so that it brutishly comes into contact with her shin.
King (n.)
Declarer's sure trick when partner has the ace. (See: Ace)
Knave (n.)
Various hypotheses have been presented as to what this card is worth, but with no resolution. Many agree that the knave often gets depressed and sticks a sword through its head, unless paired with a neighboring spot.
L
Last Train (n.)
The public transport leaving the station at 11:34pm that you would have caught to get back to your hotel 7 km from the bridge venue had you not made a bid on the last board that caused your partner to tank (see Tank) for 13 minutes which you had made at 11:12pm.
Law of Restricted Choice (n.)
The law that determines the card you must play when you open 5S with a 10-1-1-1 distribution and your LHO leads a side suit.
Law of Total Tricks (n.)
1. A law of trick-taking ability whose verity is restricted to how many more tricks you can take than the opposition can make.
2. A law that says if you add the total number of trumps for each side, and put two zeroes on the end of that number, will tell you the result if you compete one level higher.
Lebensohl (n.)
A convention used to tell partner you have a bad hand... And want him to go down instead of you.
Light Opening (adj.)
An opening with few HCPs that tends to leave partner in the dark.
Lightner Double (n.)
A double which warns opponents about bad breaks, tells them to run to 6NT and in addition to how to play it.
The public transport leaving the station at 11:34pm that you would have caught to get back to your hotel 7 km from the bridge venue had you not made a bid on the last board that caused your partner to tank (see Tank) for 13 minutes which you had made at 11:12pm.
Law of Restricted Choice (n.)
The law that determines the card you must play when you open 5S with a 10-1-1-1 distribution and your LHO leads a side suit.
Law of Total Tricks (n.)
1. A law of trick-taking ability whose verity is restricted to how many more tricks you can take than the opposition can make.
2. A law that says if you add the total number of trumps for each side, and put two zeroes on the end of that number, will tell you the result if you compete one level higher.
Lebensohl (n.)
A convention used to tell partner you have a bad hand... And want him to go down instead of you.
Light Opening (adj.)
An opening with few HCPs that tends to leave partner in the dark.
Lightner Double (n.)
A double which warns opponents about bad breaks, tells them to run to 6NT and in addition to how to play it.
M
Masterpoints (n.)
Something that the ACBL gives for paying your entry fee.
Matchpoints (n.)
A way of measuring how badly your partner did.
Milton Point Count (n.)
The poetic justice that ensues from losing 1100 after opening 1NT with an A543 A65 A76 954 hand.
Mirror (n.)
A distribution of 2 hands that makes you reflect you should have bid NT instead of settle for a suit contract.
Modesty (v.)
A silly concept that went out of fashion several decades ago.
Mt. (prefix)
The initial 2 letters of all of Adam's niks. After he has used 3,794 niks and has exhausted all places on Earth higher than 4000m will have to consult an encyclopedia of Lunar Topology.
Multi (n.)
A convention so simple, it has been outlawed in organizations throught the world.
Murder (v.)
The result of not leading your ace against 7NT.
Myhands (n.)
A constantly updated record of your misfortunes and misbids.
Something that the ACBL gives for paying your entry fee.
Matchpoints (n.)
A way of measuring how badly your partner did.
Milton Point Count (n.)
The poetic justice that ensues from losing 1100 after opening 1NT with an A543 A65 A76 954 hand.
Mirror (n.)
A distribution of 2 hands that makes you reflect you should have bid NT instead of settle for a suit contract.
Modesty (v.)
A silly concept that went out of fashion several decades ago.
Mt. (prefix)
The initial 2 letters of all of Adam's niks. After he has used 3,794 niks and has exhausted all places on Earth higher than 4000m will have to consult an encyclopedia of Lunar Topology.
Multi (n.)
A convention so simple, it has been outlawed in organizations throught the world.
Murder (v.)
The result of not leading your ace against 7NT.
Myhands (n.)
A constantly updated record of your misfortunes and misbids.
N
Natural (adj.)
A type of bidding that was all the rage when trilobites existed.
Negative Double (n.)
See Penalty Double
Versatile convention used from our side of the table that enables partner to pass to inform us that the opponents contract is making. Can be used at the part-score, game or slam level. Most commonly used over part-scores.
Notrump (n.)
The result of passing a splinter after 2 tricks.
"Not what I expected partner" (phr.)
YOU %#$@ING IDIOT!!!
A type of bidding that was all the rage when trilobites existed.
Negative Double (n.)
See Penalty Double
Versatile convention used from our side of the table that enables partner to pass to inform us that the opponents contract is making. Can be used at the part-score, game or slam level. Most commonly used over part-scores.
Notrump (n.)
The result of passing a splinter after 2 tricks.
"Not what I expected partner" (phr.)
YOU %#$@ING IDIOT!!!
O
Obvious (adj.)
A successful bid or play that everyone in the room would make... except partner.
Opening Lead (n.)
Partner's first opportunity to give up a trick.
Opponent (n.)
Any of the three other people seated at the table with you. The ones seated to your left and right would like for you to do poorly, the one seated across from you knows that you will.
Overruff (v.)
The usual procedure when the doubler is behind you.
A successful bid or play that everyone in the room would make... except partner.
Opening Lead (n.)
Partner's first opportunity to give up a trick.
Opponent (n.)
Any of the three other people seated at the table with you. The ones seated to your left and right would like for you to do poorly, the one seated across from you knows that you will.
Overruff (v.)
The usual procedure when the doubler is behind you.
P
Paki Blackwood (n.)
A convention invented by Zia Mahmood to ask whether partner was a liar.
Pakistan (n.)
A country which has produced some of the most entertaining bridge players ever, one of whom has invented "Paki Blackwood"
Partner (n.)
1. The person responsible for all your 25% games.
2. One of the three opponents sat at your table who just happens to be sat diametrically opposite you.
Partner's Bidding (adj.)
The only thing worse than underbidding and overbidding combined.
Partnership Bidding (n.)
An exclusive area in BBO where one bids hands perfectly that never seem to appear anywhere else on the site.
Part-Score (n.)
1. Our contract made with at least three overtricks.
2. Our contract doubled with at least three undertricks.
3. The opponents contract doubled just making.
Pass Out Seat (n.)
When you are dealer, the empty seat on your right previously occupied by the diabetic opponent who had forgotten to take his insulin shot.
Pass or Correct (n.)
A bid that is neither passable nor correct.
Penalty Double (n.)
Versitile gadget employed by partner to inform you that the opponent's contract is making. Can be used at the part-score, game or slam level.
e.g. "We play penalty doubles up to 7NT"
Peter (n.)
The name of your favorite BBO partner who you love to play with, since he is your age, has your sense of humor and your attitude towards bridge, and then one day you find out (s)he is a 73 year old woman called Gertrude who has 9 cats and she also logs in as Paul, Barry, Frank and Tom; your 4 other favorite partners.
Post-Mortem (n.)
The rather odd-looking ribs, oversized chicken liver and unfamiliar-tasting sausages you have at your neighbor’s BBQ 4 days after the massive argument she had with her p at the club when they finished last in the Mixed Pairs Championship.
Precision (n.)
Something more frightening to many people than a horror movie, or their in-laws coming for dinner.
Pre-Alert (v.)
A temporary condition before game time.
Psyche (v.)
The beginning of a bridge civil war.
Psychic Controls (n.)
See: Appeals Committee
Puppet Stayman (n.)
Extends the effect of Stayman to 5=3 fits.
A convention invented by Zia Mahmood to ask whether partner was a liar.
Pakistan (n.)
A country which has produced some of the most entertaining bridge players ever, one of whom has invented "Paki Blackwood"
Partner (n.)
1. The person responsible for all your 25% games.
2. One of the three opponents sat at your table who just happens to be sat diametrically opposite you.
Partner's Bidding (adj.)
The only thing worse than underbidding and overbidding combined.
Partnership Bidding (n.)
An exclusive area in BBO where one bids hands perfectly that never seem to appear anywhere else on the site.
Part-Score (n.)
1. Our contract made with at least three overtricks.
2. Our contract doubled with at least three undertricks.
3. The opponents contract doubled just making.
Pass Out Seat (n.)
When you are dealer, the empty seat on your right previously occupied by the diabetic opponent who had forgotten to take his insulin shot.
Pass or Correct (n.)
A bid that is neither passable nor correct.
Penalty Double (n.)
Versitile gadget employed by partner to inform you that the opponent's contract is making. Can be used at the part-score, game or slam level.
e.g. "We play penalty doubles up to 7NT"
Peter (n.)
The name of your favorite BBO partner who you love to play with, since he is your age, has your sense of humor and your attitude towards bridge, and then one day you find out (s)he is a 73 year old woman called Gertrude who has 9 cats and she also logs in as Paul, Barry, Frank and Tom; your 4 other favorite partners.
Post-Mortem (n.)
The rather odd-looking ribs, oversized chicken liver and unfamiliar-tasting sausages you have at your neighbor’s BBQ 4 days after the massive argument she had with her p at the club when they finished last in the Mixed Pairs Championship.
Precision (n.)
Something more frightening to many people than a horror movie, or their in-laws coming for dinner.
Pre-Alert (v.)
A temporary condition before game time.
Psyche (v.)
The beginning of a bridge civil war.
Psychic Controls (n.)
See: Appeals Committee
Puppet Stayman (n.)
Extends the effect of Stayman to 5=3 fits.
R
Red (n.)
What you see when your partner goes off 1 doubled.
Redouble (v.)
A form of punishment for partner usually best used when becoming dummy. Since partner won’t necessarily remember -500, a redouble is used to make him remember the score, such as -1600.
Relay (v.)
1. A method of asking partner how badly he originally misdescribed his hand
2. Ideal method for a player with no judgment.
Responsive (v.)
Partner often lacks this charactaristic after you put him in 2 contracts in a row that go for a 4 digit number.
Reverse Smith (n.)
Giving yourself the nickname Htims on BBO and making a bet with 15 of your friends on BBO , all of whom collectively believe that no one else has a similar wacky sense of humor and ability to 'think outside the box' as you all do, that no one else will fathom the profound and intense cleverness locked in the nickname
Revoke (n.)
Partner's way of allowing the opponents to make a grand slam while off the trump ace.
Rubber Bridge (n.)
See: Paleontology
Ruff (n.)
Partner's description of his/her luck in slam (see above).
Rule of 17 (n.)
A rule stating that if you go for 1700 more than twice a day, you are overbidding.
Runout (v.)
A method of avoiding a bad contract by bolting through the door as soon as you see dummy.
What you see when your partner goes off 1 doubled.
Redouble (v.)
A form of punishment for partner usually best used when becoming dummy. Since partner won’t necessarily remember -500, a redouble is used to make him remember the score, such as -1600.
Relay (v.)
1. A method of asking partner how badly he originally misdescribed his hand
2. Ideal method for a player with no judgment.
Responsive (v.)
Partner often lacks this charactaristic after you put him in 2 contracts in a row that go for a 4 digit number.
Reverse Smith (n.)
Giving yourself the nickname Htims on BBO and making a bet with 15 of your friends on BBO , all of whom collectively believe that no one else has a similar wacky sense of humor and ability to 'think outside the box' as you all do, that no one else will fathom the profound and intense cleverness locked in the nickname
Revoke (n.)
Partner's way of allowing the opponents to make a grand slam while off the trump ace.
Rubber Bridge (n.)
See: Paleontology
Ruff (n.)
Partner's description of his/her luck in slam (see above).
Rule of 17 (n.)
A rule stating that if you go for 1700 more than twice a day, you are overbidding.
Runout (v.)
A method of avoiding a bad contract by bolting through the door as soon as you see dummy.
S
Sacrifice (n.)
A tactic used to ensure a negative score at all costs, it is also used as a form of torture for partner.
Safety Play (n.)
Partner winning six tricks from AKQJT92
SAYC (n.)
A cleverly devised bidding system that everyone in North America admits to playing, but nobody actually knows.
Scissors Coup (v.)
A process of severing ones only lifeline, such as pitching an ace on your LHO’s deuce.
Screen (n.)
A safety feature preventing one from killing one's partner at the bridge table.
Serious 3NT (n.)
A bid made when playing with your girlfriend, indicating that you are ready to take the next step.
Setting Trick (n.)
Card that partner discards at trick thirteen on the opponent’s deuce. Usually an ace.
Seven of Diamonds (n.)
The card you win the last trick with at the expense of 4 overtricks when your wallet is empty and you suddenly feel like a drink.
Signaling (v.)
An excuse for not cashing your Ace and King against 6NT
Signoff (v.)
Ineffective method in trying to stop the habitual overbidder.
Slam (n.)
Contract bid to by partner that results in a score no better than -50 NV or -100 V
Slam Try (n.)
The act of bidding a slam and attempting to make it.
Small Slam (n.)
See Grand Slam aboveThe noise the cat-flap on the front door of the bridge club makes when you have passed your partners 7C bid and you begin to panic when you realize your unsympathetic partner has left with your car-keys in his pocket.
Splinter (n.)
A remarkably successful way to arrive at part-scores or games with 1-3 fits. The strongest feature of this technique is the paralyzing effect it has on your opps who invariably fail to double.
SOS Redouble (n.)
A conventional call that enables you to ask your teammates "Were you plus on board 11?" and when they answer "yes" you can say "Good, then we only lose 23 IMPs"
Squeeze (v.)
A form of torture requiring your enemy to give up valuable information.
Squeeze without the Count (v.)
A squeeze executed by your partner where he failed to count the number of tricks he had to accumulate to make the contract.
Stayman (n.)
Plagiarized convention that allows a partnership to get to 4-Major when 3NT is cold
Stop (v.)
1. A quiet exclamation to inform the opponents of a skip-bid warning
2. a more vociferous exclamation to one's partner encapsulating quite accurately what you believe he should do with his bridge.
Stop Card (n.)
1. A card reserved for use only when about to make a severe overbid.
2. A card used to distingush between a support cuebid, and a stopper asking cuebid.
Striped-Tail Ape Double (n.)
A X made by partner resulting in opponents playing in 4SXX+2 which proves beyond any doubt that your partner is the missing link between ourselves and other primates
Sub (n.)
A desperate person waiting to get insulted by an unknown partner an undetermined amount of times.
Submarine Squeeze (n.)
An advanced declarer play technique my partner uses whilst playing a grand slam.
Support Double (n.)
A fill-in when your Lamaze partner suddenly is delayed at the office.
Swiss Teams (n.)
A clever form of bridge competition wherein one player competes against 7 others, appropriately named after a country renowned for standing alone.
Switch (v.)
What you want to do as a partner when yours leads the Ace of your singleton and then plays a trump.
Symmetric Relay (n.)
1. Method for two players equally without judgment. (See: Relay)
2. A series of bids that eventuate a contract resulting in asymmetric results.
System (n.)
A series of sentences purported to state what conventions you play, each of which, at one time or another, are systematically forgotten or neglected
A tactic used to ensure a negative score at all costs, it is also used as a form of torture for partner.
Safety Play (n.)
Partner winning six tricks from AKQJT92
SAYC (n.)
A cleverly devised bidding system that everyone in North America admits to playing, but nobody actually knows.
Scissors Coup (v.)
A process of severing ones only lifeline, such as pitching an ace on your LHO’s deuce.
Screen (n.)
A safety feature preventing one from killing one's partner at the bridge table.
Serious 3NT (n.)
A bid made when playing with your girlfriend, indicating that you are ready to take the next step.
Setting Trick (n.)
Card that partner discards at trick thirteen on the opponent’s deuce. Usually an ace.
Seven of Diamonds (n.)
The card you win the last trick with at the expense of 4 overtricks when your wallet is empty and you suddenly feel like a drink.
Signaling (v.)
An excuse for not cashing your Ace and King against 6NT
Signoff (v.)
Ineffective method in trying to stop the habitual overbidder.
Slam (n.)
Contract bid to by partner that results in a score no better than -50 NV or -100 V
Slam Try (n.)
The act of bidding a slam and attempting to make it.
Small Slam (n.)
See Grand Slam aboveThe noise the cat-flap on the front door of the bridge club makes when you have passed your partners 7C bid and you begin to panic when you realize your unsympathetic partner has left with your car-keys in his pocket.
Splinter (n.)
A remarkably successful way to arrive at part-scores or games with 1-3 fits. The strongest feature of this technique is the paralyzing effect it has on your opps who invariably fail to double.
SOS Redouble (n.)
A conventional call that enables you to ask your teammates "Were you plus on board 11?" and when they answer "yes" you can say "Good, then we only lose 23 IMPs"
Squeeze (v.)
A form of torture requiring your enemy to give up valuable information.
Squeeze without the Count (v.)
A squeeze executed by your partner where he failed to count the number of tricks he had to accumulate to make the contract.
Stayman (n.)
Plagiarized convention that allows a partnership to get to 4-Major when 3NT is cold
Stop (v.)
1. A quiet exclamation to inform the opponents of a skip-bid warning
2. a more vociferous exclamation to one's partner encapsulating quite accurately what you believe he should do with his bridge.
Stop Card (n.)
1. A card reserved for use only when about to make a severe overbid.
2. A card used to distingush between a support cuebid, and a stopper asking cuebid.
Striped-Tail Ape Double (n.)
A X made by partner resulting in opponents playing in 4SXX+2 which proves beyond any doubt that your partner is the missing link between ourselves and other primates
Sub (n.)
A desperate person waiting to get insulted by an unknown partner an undetermined amount of times.
Submarine Squeeze (n.)
An advanced declarer play technique my partner uses whilst playing a grand slam.
Support Double (n.)
A fill-in when your Lamaze partner suddenly is delayed at the office.
Swiss Teams (n.)
A clever form of bridge competition wherein one player competes against 7 others, appropriately named after a country renowned for standing alone.
Switch (v.)
What you want to do as a partner when yours leads the Ace of your singleton and then plays a trump.
Symmetric Relay (n.)
1. Method for two players equally without judgment. (See: Relay)
2. A series of bids that eventuate a contract resulting in asymmetric results.
System (n.)
A series of sentences purported to state what conventions you play, each of which, at one time or another, are systematically forgotten or neglected
T
Takeout Double (n.)
A request to partner asking him what contract he wants to go down in.
Tank (v.)
The term for thinking for 15 minutes, and then leading from the wrong hand.
Teaching Table (n.)
A wonderful invention allowing someone else to inform you of how badly you play, and why you should pay them for lessons.
Teammates (n.)
People who you choose to play with you, but may soon create a mutany when they see your scorecard.
Tired (v.)
Partner's excuse after he failed to cash his 6 cash suit to the AKQJT against 3NT.
To Go to bed With (v.)
The last thing one can expect to do with one's wife later on that night when partnering her after declarer ruffs the ace one has tenaciously held on to for 4 tricks.
Tournament (n.)
A place where people gather to make enemies.
Trap Pass (n.)
A green card that when touched, explodes.
Trials (n.)
An event held to decide who will be paid to go to a foreign country and make enemies.
Trump Contract (n.)
What your partner was defending against when he “ruffed” declarer’s long running suit.
Trump Coup (n.)
Miracle in which partner remembers which suit is trump.
A request to partner asking him what contract he wants to go down in.
Tank (v.)
The term for thinking for 15 minutes, and then leading from the wrong hand.
Teaching Table (n.)
A wonderful invention allowing someone else to inform you of how badly you play, and why you should pay them for lessons.
Teammates (n.)
People who you choose to play with you, but may soon create a mutany when they see your scorecard.
Tired (v.)
Partner's excuse after he failed to cash his 6 cash suit to the AKQJT against 3NT.
To Go to bed With (v.)
The last thing one can expect to do with one's wife later on that night when partnering her after declarer ruffs the ace one has tenaciously held on to for 4 tricks.
Tournament (n.)
A place where people gather to make enemies.
Trap Pass (n.)
A green card that when touched, explodes.
Trials (n.)
An event held to decide who will be paid to go to a foreign country and make enemies.
Trump Contract (n.)
What your partner was defending against when he “ruffed” declarer’s long running suit.
Trump Coup (n.)
Miracle in which partner remembers which suit is trump.
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